Monday, August 17, 2020

Would You Do My Homework For Me?

Would You Do My Homework For Me? Because I happen to be in the middle of my week of homework when this year’s parent-teacher conferences take place, I am uniquely equipped to discuss the work Esmee is doing. And over the years, I have noticed that the amount of homework does let up, slightly, after the conferencesâ€"if enough parents complain. We part ways, and my wife and I go to a Japanese restaurant, where, as soon as I am seated, I regret smoking. It’s going to be hell trying to do algebra tonight with the head I have on right now. My wife and I decide to go out to dinner, and on our way up Hudson Street, we run into another couple we are close friends with. A recent posting for a tenure-track junior faculty position in my department attracted more than 200 applications, a frightening number in and of itself. Perhaps more terrifying, however, was that fewer than 5% of these candidates made any effort whatsoever to communicate why they wanted to join our department’s faculty in particular. As best as any on the search committee could guess, the identical applications might well have landed, unaltered, upon dozens of recruitment piles across the globe. This is the time to learn about dentist appointments, birthday dinners, your brother’s baseball games, etc. It is always better to know about these things ahead of time, rather than at the last minute. The single reason you go to school is to learn and prepare for your future; whether you will someday have a career, manage a home, or both, you will need to take responsibility. Perhaps such omissions are a result of generic, open-ended job advertisements. Perhaps with so many applications to write, the candidates decide they can’t invest the time to tailor each to the opportunity at hand. This couple’s oldest daughter also goes to Lab. Instead, she’s watching episodes ofPortlandiaon her computer. The weekend homework includes another 15 algebra equations, studying for a Spanish test on Monday, and, of course, moreAngela’s Ashes. I tell Esmee that this seems strangeâ€"didn’t she just have an algebra midterm? It’s the number one reason why most freelancers can’t get much work done if they work on their beds. The area should be organized and conducive for you to deal with your homework. If you have a big assignment due on Thursday and you have a basketball game on Wednesday night, be sure to do the assignment on Tuesday evening. On Sunday, ask your parents if they have anything planned for you for the week. One of the reasons I believe my daughter hasn’t yet tried marijuana is because she simply doesn’t have the time. We stand on the sidewalk for a few minutes, chatting. The husband is smoking a joint, and he hands it over. I haven’t smoked in a few months, but it’s Friday night and I’ve been doing homework all week. What these applicants apparently failed to recognize is that we don’t just want to recruit a great scientist; we want to be certain that our new hire will thrive at our institution. Our search committee also concluded that the applicants failed to capitalize on an opportunity to foresee collaborations, forge synergies, or propose new directions that could relate to our program. It’s only Friday, and I have until Monday to finish my homework. When I get home, Esmee tells me she got a C on her math homework from the night before because she hadn’t made an answer column. Her correct answers were there, at the end of each neatly written-out equation, yet they weren’t segregated into a separate column on the right side of each page. I’m amazed that the pettiness of this doesn’t seem to bother her. School is training her well for the inanities of adult life. She says that in her class, they have more than one midterm every term. Our math homework this evening is practicing multiplying a polynomial by a monomial, and we breeze through it in about half an hour.

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